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Clare's Story with Weldmar Hospicecare: header

Clare’s Story: Ten days when it felt as though “help had arrived”

6th September 2024

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Personal Stories

Although her beloved husband, James, was going through a difficult time with his cancer diagnosis, when Clare accompanied him to see their GP in Sherborne it was difficult to hear the doctor recommend a referral to Weldmar Hospicecare.

“When you hear the words palliative care,” Clare explains, “obviously that makes you think about one thing. Even though I could see how James was after two years of poor health, you’re still not quite ready to think about that. We still had hope, and he was still having treatment, but you have to remind yourself that it’s not just end of life care – it’s to help with chronic health issues and to improve the quality of your life.”

How Weldmar quickly leapt into action

With James’ condition deteriorating, Clare spoke on the phone to Emma, Weldmar’s Community Nurse Specialist for the Sherborne area, who is based at the Yeatman Hospital.

“One of the main points of our story is that we really only had contact with Weldmar for ten days before James died, so I’m overwhelmingly grateful to our GP, Dr Phelan, who timed it so brilliantly. Emma came to see us on 2nd August, the day after our call, and he died on the 11th, but in that time Weldmar made such an enormous difference to us. It was life changing, in the sense that he was able to be at home, the way he was able to die, and the support that was provided.”

On that first visit, after an initial chat, Emma spoke with James whilst Clare spent time with an occupational therapist, who had joined Emma for the visit, to go around the house and see what things might help. Clare recalls, “They talked about what his wishes were, how he saw what the end might be and how he felt about it. It was extremely helpful and comforting.”

Weldmar’s 24 Hour Advice Line provides immediate reassurance and support

One of the services that made a significant difference to Clare was Weldmar’s 24 Hour Advice Line, which she called just two days before James died. “If I hadn’t spoken to them, I would have had to dial 999. They provide a great service, of course, but they have to ask lots and lots of questions. They have to do that but it’s not what you need at the time. Because I’d met Emma, I was able to call Weldmar and all of James’ notes were on the system so I could talk to a nurse straight away. I was able to get the reassurance I needed, and they contacted Emma who arrived later that morning.”

Clare says, “Emma’s advice was absolutely wonderful. I’ve got boys who both live abroad, and it was difficult to know when I should call them home, but with her knowledge and wisdom, Emma was able to say this was the right time, which I was very grateful for.”

Weldmar at Home arrive and make James comfortable

A bed arrived at the family home that day so that James could stay in the living room, where his sons were able to be just a day later having jumped on planes and trains to make the journey back to West Camel. Visits from Weldmar at Home, the charity’s hospice at home service, were arranged and began straight away. They were able to settle him into the bed, and set up a schedule with the names of the team members who would come twice a day to see him and do whatever was needed to make him comfortable.

The following morning at ten o’clock, James sadly passed away.

As Clare recalls, “As far as anything like this can be good, it was a very good ending really. Emma had called to ask how the night had been, and James died shortly afterwards. I then went out to the drive to meet the Weldmar at Home nurses and tell them, and they were just wonderful. They helped to wash him and get him ready for the undertaker, and talked to me about what I needed to do next.”

Clare's story: photo of Clare and her husband James, patient at Weldmar Hospicecare

"I think Weldmar is the most extraordinary service. I didn't know that all that help was available for us at home. It was short, but it was so significant, and emotionally very positive. Over the course of that week, it just felt as though help had arrived."

Continued support for Clare

Clare has continued to be supported by Weldmar Hospicecare’s Patient and Family Support Services team. She was invited, if she wanted to, to have bereavement counselling or attend a coffee morning or a Wellbeing Support Session. Although she didn’t feel ready at the time, she picked up the phone in January to take up the offer of counselling.

“I’m lucky,” explains Clare, “that I have lots of lovely friends, and my boys and I talk about James all the time, and how we are so grateful that Weldmar’s care meant he didn’t die in a hospital ward. But I felt as though I wanted to talk to someone, and when I was arranging it on the phone I said I was positive about it but didn’t know what to expect. They said at the very least we hope you feel ‘lighter’ after the six weeks, and that’s exactly how I did feel.”

“I was also very touched when I attended the Snowdrop service at Cheap Steet Church in Sherborne in February, and Emma came straight over to ask how I was. It was very kind, and typical of her.”

Thanks to Clare for sharing her story.

If you would like to share your own story of Weldmar’s care, please contact james.oneill@weld-hospice.org.uk. Stories can help local people understand more about what Weldmar do, and how it makes a difference, and right now, we need all the support we can get from our local community.

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