“It’s given me something back that I’d lost” – Jacqui’s Story

Three days before Christmas 2019, Jacqui was diagnosed with cancer, and underwent a course of chemotherapy at Dorset County Hospital. Each subsequent Christmas has seemed to bring further progression in her illness.

In summer 2023, Jacqui was delivering special hats, made by a friend, for people who had lost their hair due to the types of treatment she was experiencing herself. She brought some to Weldmar’s Inpatient Unit – where her mum had been cared for a number of years before – and was told about Wellbeing Support Sessions. Jacqui said she’d think about it, and picked up the phone a few weeks later to ask if she could attend the weekly Coffee Morning and Social group, and later also joined the Pamper and Relaxation afternoon.

“I was in a very bad place,” explains Jacqui, “and needed people to talk to who could understand. I felt there was nobody out there to listen to me. But that understanding is exactly what I get here and it’s helped me realise I’m not the only one in this boat. Other people may have another illness or lost their loved one, but we all know where each other is coming from. You can talk openly and freely and it’s just wonderful.”

It’s a far cry from the isolation Jacqui felt in the early stages of her diagnosis, as the Covid pandemic meant that she couldn’t see family or friends and was virtually housebound for two years. “Nobody seems to address the mental health side of having cancer and help you cope with it, apart from here. I had got to the stage where I felt like a piece of elastic that was getting pulled in every direction, and at some point I would have gone ping.”

Jacqui says that the social aspect of the coffee morning has been the perfect tonic. “When I come here, we have a laugh, we joke, we chatter. After lockdown, I was frightened of being in company. I remember the first time going out in the car, arriving in Wimborne, and I thinking ‘I can’t do this’, and I drove straight home again. Coming here has given me the confidence to go out, with a regular run in the car. Today, I’m driving to Poole for the first time in three years, which is out of my comfort zone but I’m damn well going to do it!”

“I want to say a huge thank you to the staff and the other people who come here, who have all been lifesavers. There are little things that come up; I was talking to one lady about when I first had my diagnosis, thinking I wouldn’t be around very long so I’d started to clear out things at home. She said she did that too. It’s finding those like for like things, you realise it’s not just you who has those thoughts.”

Thank you to Jacqui for sharing her story.

If you would like to share your story of care provided by Weldmar Hospicecare, or something that you are doing to fundraise for us, we would love to hear from you. Please contact james.oneill@weld-hospice.org.uk.