“It’s frightening … but reassuring that Weldmar are always there”: Joy’s Story

Joy Blackwell says that it takes ‘a special person’ to do what they do at Weldmar Hospicecare. She knows that more than most.

Joy’s husband, Gary, was referred into Weldmar’s care in August 2025. It was eight years after his initial prostate cancer diagnosis, and it had become clear that further treatment was no longer an option.

Although Joy is proud to have cared for Gary throughout his illness at their home in Wyke Regis, she deeply appreciated the extra support when Weldmar’s Specialist Hospice at Home service began visiting regularly that October.

“The nurses were brilliant,” says Joy, “I can’t fault them. It meant so much to have them there. They know their job. Their advice was always fantastic. Nothing was ever too much of a problem, and I knew I could always call them if we wanted or needed something”.

More than clinical care: dignity at home

Following an assessment from a Weldmar Occupational Therapist, a hospital bed was installed in a spare bedroom. It was a change Gary was understandably reluctant about, but he was gently persuaded that it was the right thing to do for both himself and Joy.

Siobhan, a Weldmar Community Nurse, became a regular visitor. As part of Weldmar’s commitment to fulfilling patients’ wishes, she introduced the couple to Ducks In A Row—a dedicated end-of-life planning booklet—and suggested they start thinking about Gary’s funeral.

Joy says, “When you think you’re going to be with someone for the rest of your life, how can you have those conversations? But this book was a Godsend. We gradually filled it in, and Gary had the funeral that he had planned for.”

The couple were dealt a devastating blow during one of Siobhan’s visits. Blood tests revealed that Gary’s life expectancy was likely just two to three weeks.

“When you’re told something like that,” Joy explains, “it hits you like an express train. He always said he would never let cancer rule his life, but it was like we’d swept the inevitable outcome under the carpet.”

Caring for the carer

Around that same time, Joy began meeting with Chloe Hook, Weldmar’s Carers’ Support Coordinator.

Left: Gary on the day he married Joy; Right: Joy with Chloe – Weldmar’s Carers’ Support Coordinator

Joy admits she was initially unsure about opening up. As one of seven children, she had been raised to believe you sort things out yourself and just carry on.

“Chloe told me that she wanted to meet the real Joy Blackwell,” she says. “and that thinking I didn’t need help was a coping mechanism. She got me straight away. She had amazing words of encouragement. She told me it would be hard, but that I would get through it, and that she would always be there if I needed her.”

The first time Joy saw Chloe after Gary passed away in December was at an appointment at the hospice: “I saw her walking down the corridor, and I ran towards her and hugged her. After I had stopped being a mess, Chloe told me that she’d met the real Joy.”

Invaluable support during the most difficult of times

Chloe provided both practical and emotional support, eventually suggesting that Joy try Weldmar’s Wellbeing Support Sessions and attend their monthly bereavement coffee mornings.

“It is difficult to find people around the same age as me who are going through the same thing,” says Joy. “but I have been going and met a couple of ladies who I go to lunch with from time to time.”

“I thank God that Chloe came into my life. She’s such a warm person, comforting and reassuring, and nothing was ever too much trouble. She’s got an answer for everything – in a nice way!”

Joy says that Weldmar’s support was invaluable for both her and Gary: “It meant so much to have Weldmar. It’s frightening, and they were always there, being reassuring, saying what they could do. It meant the world to be told we were not alone.”

The family say they will continue to support Weldmar Hospicecare, and Gary’s daughter, Bethany, is looking forward to a fundraising parachute jump in his memory this summer.

* 1st April 2025 to 31st March 2026