As Christmas approaches every year, Weldmar Hospicecare hosts Light up a Life services across Dorset, where you can dedicate a light to a loved one who will be missed during the fun and traditions of the festive period. Whilst this can provide some comfort for adults, Weldmar’s Patient and Family Support Services team provide additional help for families and children who have lost a loved one, and here share some practical ideas that you can use with your own children, to gently move forward.

First of all, remember it’s ok to enjoy Christmas

It is ok to miss your loved one, but still enjoy Christmas and all the things it brings. It is ok to have fun, and make new, special memories. It is also ok to ask for help whenever you need it.

Build a Treasured Memory Tribute Box

This is something that you can do every Christmas, with memories from all the family building up each year.

Start a new Christmas tradition

Try starting a new family tradition in the build up to Christmas, or during the festive period. Find something that you can all do and celebrate together.

This could be lighting a candle, choosing a special Christmas ornament to put on the tree (or somewhere else you choose), or even baking a special cake or biscuits.

Write a Christmas card

It’s completely normal for a child or young person to want to buy or create a card for the person who has died. They often have so many things they wish they could still say, such as memories they cherish, things they miss, or just how they’re feeling right now. Writing these thoughts down is a powerful way to express those feelings and move them out of their head and heart. Once finished, they can choose to keep the card in a memory box or another special, private place.

How can others help

These are useful at any time of year, not just Christmas. Checklists that young people can give to parents, teachers and friends that will help them understand what the boundaries are.

More ideas from Winston’s Wish

The charity Winston’s Wish have produced this simple video with some further ideas and activities.