Connor’s Story: The care provided to my family by Weldmar has been ‘exemplary’

This is Connor’s Story. Connor Webb, from Dorchester, is taking part in the Jurassic Coast Ultra Challenge over the weekend of Saturday 18th and Sunday 19th May. He is raising funds for Weldmar Hospicecare because his stepfather Mark is currently under the charity’s care, and spent a number of weeks at the Inpatient Unit earlier this year, becoming well enough to return home.

We’ve been asking Connor more about the challenge, and why he is fundraising for Weldmar.

Tell us a little more about the challenge and who you are doing it with.

It’s the Jurassic Coast Ultra Challenge where you can choose between a number of distances. I’m doing the 100km walk over two days, starting at Corfe Castle on the Saturday and finishing in Weymouth, then onto Bridport on the second two.

I’m feeling pretty good about it. I signed up to do it in the early hours of New Year’s Day, almost as soon as I returned home from seeing Mark at the hospice. I’ve been doing a fair amount of walking in my spare time – it helps that I don’t drive! I’ve got a step recorder app on my phone, and keep trying to break my own records. The longest walk I’ve done so far is 60,000 steps over 28 miles, just short of what I need to do on each day of the event. It definitely will be a challenge being across two days. I think the second day is going to be difficult and I’m going to have to power through.

I signed up on my own, but Stephanie, a friend from school, said was interested and she’s signed up to do it with me, and is signposting people to my fundraising page for Weldmar. The person who inspired me to do this was Mark, and Mark’s son Caleb is also joining us over the two days. Another friend, Tom, is doing a 10km run in Bridport on the Sunday, which is also part of the same Ultra Challenge event, and he’s also raising money for Weldmar.

How did Mark come to be in the care of Weldmar?

It’s coming up to a year since Mark’s diagnosis, which feels like both no time at all and a lifetime ago. Things have changed so quickly, but it’s also like the work has ‘shrunk down’ for the family at the same time. In May of last year, Mark had a seizure in the early hours of the morning which meant he needed to be rushed to hospital, and he underwent various tests and scans. A few days into that, we knew that something was badly wrong, and he was eventually diagnosed with a grade 4 brain tumour, a glioblastoma.

He had a lot of weakness and his mobility was affected, and he had a more serious seizure last July, which led to time in intensive care.

The nature of the glioblastoma means that we’ve seen Mark deteriorate since then. At Christmas, he and my mum got married. We were told at about the same time that Mark’s treatment was nearing the ‘later stages’, and he was moved into Weldmar’s Inpatient Unit for several weeks, and since coming home he has been visited regularly by a Weldmar Community Nurse.

You’re doing this for Mark – tell us a little more about him.

Mark is father to Caleb and Merley. He is a passionate music lover, especially classic rock (hence the band t-shirt theme at his and my mum’s wedding). In that photograph is myself, my mum Bev, sister Elisha, Mark and Caleb and Merley. Favourites include Guns N Roses, Pearl Jam, Iron Maiden, ACDC, The Cure, The Rolling Stones and Johnny Marr.

Mark is keenly interested in motorbikes and had many years of experience as a biker. He loved to swim, especially sea swimming and his work involved driving a transport vehicle for children with disabilities, to and from school. He’s a supporter of Leeds Football Club and is a remarkably kind, generous and selfless man who would always be willing to help others without expecting anything in return.

What did Mark’s care at our Inpatient Unit look like?

The care that was provided for Mark was exemplary really, you couldn’t imagine a better environment to care for a patient, especially since coming from hospital. DCH is a great hospital and has lots of great staff, but it is just so different to being in a place like Weldmar, who can provide something you just can’t get in a hospital that has so many patients to care for.

Being able to see Mark in his own room with it’s own facilities made a huge difference, but the biggest difference was the staff to patient ratio. If Mark needed anything, it wasn’t just one nurse or carer who would be able to see him, but multiple. All of them were just so good and attentive to what he needed.

What meant the most to me was not just the care provided for Mark, but for my mum, who was pretty much there the whole time. There was a nurse who sat and held my mum’s hand for a while, and I just thought it was a rare thing that anyone who works in nursing or care would have the time to be able to dedicate to something like that. It made the world of difference.

I think that we were all surprised that the Inpatient Unit was such a nice environment. The first time I went there I was very trepidatious, assuming it was going to be depressing or even bleak, but when you’re there you realise that it is so welcoming and a nice place to be.

Once Mark was allowed to come home, a care package was put in place (not provided by Weldmar) and Mum has become Mark’s primary carer. They are visited by their Weldmar Community Nurse regularly to monitor how they are getting on.

Why did you feel it was important to fundraise and support Weldmar?

New Year’s Eve causes you to think about the year ahead, and on the wall at the hospice there were facts and statistics about their funding, and how much of that comes from charitable donations and fundraisers. I was amazed with the facilities at Weldmar and the people there, and the way they care for people, I just felt galvanized to put something positive in the diary and found the Ultra Challenge online.

It was one of those times when things just aligned. Being at the hospice, seeing the need for fundraising, and it being New Year’s Eve. I decided very quickly to get on and book it before I could think too much about it. With the event in May, it was enough time to prepare but soon enough to have to crack on with training and fundraising.

Initially I set the fundraising target at a few hundred pounds, but once I had put the story up on the JustGiving page I hit a thousand pounds almost straight away. I’ve increased the goal several times and now trying to reach £3,000. I’m really pleased, and want to go even further now in the time available before the event. People have been amazing with their donations and I’m so grateful.

I was contacted almost straight after I set up the fundraising page by Eden from Weldmar’s fundraising team. She organised a t-shirt and collection pot, and made it clear that anything I need I just have to message and they’ll get back to me straight away, so that’s been really helpful.

Visit Connor's Fundraising page   Visit Caleb's fundraising page

Thank you to Connor for sharing his story, and we wish Mark and the family well as they continue on their difficult journey.

Good luck to Connor, Caleb, Stephanie and Tom as they take part in the Jurassic Coast Ultra Challenge on the 18th and 19th May.

If you would like to share your story of care provided by Weldmar Hospicecare, or something that you are doing to fundraise for us, we would love to hear from you. Please contact james.oneill@weld-hospice.org.uk.